Have you seen that episode of Gilmore Girls where Lane runs her hand through the guys hair before she realizes what she's doing? Self control out the door and acting from a point of desire. I've also experienced times like that, not just when I was a teenager like Lane but also as an adult. Recently I was telling some friends of the self control I have to have when around a certain someone. There are times when I want to run my fingers through his hair or scratch his back, or hold his hand. Thank God for self control that stops my hand from doing those things my mind reaches out to do. Likewise, there are times that I want to run down the hall, though I just told a first grader to walk. Times when I want to jump up and hit dangling things though I warn students not to. Self control, it is a glorious thing!
I had to get a physical yesterday for a job I'll have this summer. All of those thoughts I'd been having about weight, body issues, and what not were all filtered into one number that balanced on the scale. I heard it aloud, I saw it with my eyes, I touched those numbers. It became very real. I had a complete lack of self control. I so often say I have no self control, frustrated that I cannot attain my goals for lack of commitment. But here's what I'm seeing. Clearly I do have self control. I've chosen not to use it in this area. Not once have I pulled a Lane and allowed my hand to do what my mind restrained. Not once, while at school have I run the halls during a school day. I have the ability to practice self control. I can see the fruit of that. I'm not known as the crazy girl who randomly plays with the hair of men. I'm not the crazy teacher who runs around jumping and slapping things. I've practiced self control.
So, now, after having a slap in the face by numbers, I will be more intentional with using that self control God in His mercy lavished upon me. I CAN do this.
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